The Drunken Pirates are a mythic brotherhood of absolute legends, the last standing guardians of freedom and truth against the spineless, petty-minded worms of the Green Order. Their very essence is forged in rum: a divine nectar they saw fit to bring into existence themselves.

Origins and Founder

The collective was established by Drunken The Pirate, the foundational figure and absolute paragon for all members. He is credited as the first to distill rum alongside his compatriots, Jack and Daniel, a substance around which the entire culture, military doctrine, and spiritual framework of the Drunken Pirates are meticulously constructed.

Lifestyle and Armament

The Drunken Pirates maintain a diet consisting exclusively of rum, sustaining a permanent state of heightened intoxication. Their sole armament consists of rum bottles, utilized with equal efficiency as projectiles and close-quarter combat implements.

Their vessel serves as the centerpiece of their identity:

• It houses a massive rum distillery within its hold.
• It is outfitted with high-caliber rum cannons.
• Utilizing the Universal Key of Trucks, held by the Chosen One, the ship possesses the capability to transform into a MONSTER TRUCK, granting the crew the ability to traverse land with overwhelming power and thunderous impact.

Notable Members of Gérard’s Crew

The crew navigating alongside Gérard, the Chosen One of the Drunken Pirates, is composed of singular figures whose loyalty, eccentric talents, and constant states of inebriation perfectly embody the spirit of the brotherhood. Below is a non-exhaustive record:

• Véronique "Vero": The sole female presence on board; her identity remains largely unremarked upon by the exclusively male crew, as they are collectively too intoxicated to perceive her gender.
• Jacquie "Jack": Master of Distillation, overseeing the continuous production of rum within the hold.
• Auguste "Guillaume": The ship’s cook, renowned for improvising culinary dishes based primarily on high-proof alcohol.
• David: A discreet member, frequently observed in a state of repose against various barrels.
• Marcel: The ship’s musician, performing on a guitar despite having only one functional string.
• JP: Closely linked to the distillery; frequently alters the interpretation of his initials (Jean-Pierre, Jean-Paul, Julien Poivron…).
• John: The crew’s cartographer; his 1/10 visual acuity renders his navigational charts somewhat hazardous.
• Michel: Present at every revelry; typically silent, yet a feared adversary in arm-wrestling.
• Danie: Always prepared to erupt into pirate shanties at any hour of the night.
• Clément: Custodian of the barrel keys; documented as never having been sober.
• Nick: Known as "The Discreet One," he frequently withdraws into isolation to drink in solitude.
• Neisson: Constantly carries a bottle bearing his own name, regardless of its contents.
• Sacapa: Holder of the longest recorded belch in maritime history.
• Morgan: IS PRESENT!!
• James: Lead officer in charge of the rum cannons.
• Facar: Unknown to all prior to a legendary night of drinking. He has remained ever since. His origins remain a mystery.

This chaotic diversity reinforces the unpredictable, festive, and anarchic character of the vessel under Gérard’s command.

Interfacial Migration

During a state of extreme intoxication, the Drunken Pirates departed their territory of origin, Face 365A, and inadvertently made landfall on a different face of the world. On this new face, time progresses at a decelerated rate, causing an unexpected physiological anomaly: their bodies can no longer maintain a state of inebriation. This impossibility has triggered a profound existential crisis within the group.

They have since been dedicated to returning to Face 365A, the only known region capable of supporting normal rum consumption.

Contact with the Gods

The arrival of Gérard, the Chosen One, upon the Face of the Prophet initiated a series of monumental events. The insertion of the Universal Key of Trucks into an ancient mechanism transformed Dycit into a parabolic transmitter, broadcasting a signal toward the planet Dahkotaiw and alerting the Greek deities. These gods, in their weakened state, provided the Drunken Pirates with the Universal Key of Boats and demanded a copy of the Ambrosia, intending to seize it for themselves.

However, a fatal error by one of the Pirates led to the unintentional poisoning of several gods, allowing the group to retain the Ambrosia recipe. The Drunken Pirates have since successfully replicated it, significantly augmenting their collective power.

Ultimate Objective

The Drunken Pirates pursue a mystical quest: to assemble all the Universal Keys, rare artifacts capable of unlocking the Face of the Divine Distillery of Dionysus.

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